Ever wonder why the Fairy Tales have the step mothers as some evil, wart faced, "I'm going to make your life hell", demonic figure? I don’t think I look like that. I am not wart infested or deformed in any way. My head only spins around every once in a while and I always go to the other room first!! I have stepparents on either side. I never saw my Step mom’s head spin around. She never grew horns and her eyes never turned red with furry. My stepfather never made me wash the kitchen floor on my hands and knees or refused to let me go to the ball. None of my "parents" (all four of them) fought or said hateful words about each other. Civilized is a word to describe their relationships.
When I married, or actually before I married, I was wearing the best designer shoes ever. Freedom Shoes. Comfortable shoes that I never wanted to take off. Having the choice to put on those kickin' 3-inch heels and paint the town, or those strap-y sandals and cruise to the beach. Freedom shoes were the best. Even the ones that left blisters and made my feet sore had a purpose.
Ok, back to the Step Parent thing. When 2 people decide to marry and one has kids. The one who doesn't is in DENIAL. Denying that those sweet, angelic, wonderful children will ever think you are the wicked witch of the east, north, west & south. You are marrying their Dad. You are evil and you will be forced to take action! Take off those comfy shoes that fit your feet so wonderfully and slide those pedicured painted toes into... Clown shoes. They don’t fit. You’ve step into it now. Go ahead.. Flop around in them for a while. The emotion is overwhelming isn't it? Now you are STEP MOM. (dum dum dum dum) Gasp! These shoes are WAY to big for you! What now?
Now here come the issues. Oh Crap! Dad’s not home. Am I allowed to disciple them? Are they really allowed to stay up all night and eat Candy? Can they really stay out ‘til midnight? Can they do this? Can they do that? What do I do? What if they don't like me? What if I make mistakes? What if I punish them and they hate me? All those “what if’s” will drive you mad! Lucky for me, I was already a bit crazy so the drive was a short one.
I had the reality check come in. I wasn’t “Mom”. I could not fill those shoes and I didn’t want to. I had to deal with the real Mom, the Grand Mom, the Aunts and family. I had advice coming from every direction. Confusing isn’t it. I made many mistakes. MANY mistakes. I learned the hard way that just because they cry and yell, doesn’t mean they hate you. Just because they want to talk to Mommy, doesn’t mean they don’t want to talk to you too. I had to run in those clown shoes (flop flop flop flop). I tripped a few times and fell on my face. Put the fact is, I got back up and continued to run. Eventually, I stopped running in those horrid shoes. I began to walk. Soon, those shoes began to fit a little better. I learned to accept my role and before I knew it, my role was no longer the dreaded “STEP” mom. I wasn’t evil. I was just a parent. Just like all the other parents. And they loved me no matter my title.
I love these kids. I love my husband. I love these shoes. They get to be slipped off every now and then. I get to put on my heels, my sneakers and my slippers for different occasions. But I always go back to my Clown shoes. They fit just right.
When I married, or actually before I married, I was wearing the best designer shoes ever. Freedom Shoes. Comfortable shoes that I never wanted to take off. Having the choice to put on those kickin' 3-inch heels and paint the town, or those strap-y sandals and cruise to the beach. Freedom shoes were the best. Even the ones that left blisters and made my feet sore had a purpose.
Ok, back to the Step Parent thing. When 2 people decide to marry and one has kids. The one who doesn't is in DENIAL. Denying that those sweet, angelic, wonderful children will ever think you are the wicked witch of the east, north, west & south. You are marrying their Dad. You are evil and you will be forced to take action! Take off those comfy shoes that fit your feet so wonderfully and slide those pedicured painted toes into... Clown shoes. They don’t fit. You’ve step into it now. Go ahead.. Flop around in them for a while. The emotion is overwhelming isn't it? Now you are STEP MOM. (dum dum dum dum) Gasp! These shoes are WAY to big for you! What now?
Now here come the issues. Oh Crap! Dad’s not home. Am I allowed to disciple them? Are they really allowed to stay up all night and eat Candy? Can they really stay out ‘til midnight? Can they do this? Can they do that? What do I do? What if they don't like me? What if I make mistakes? What if I punish them and they hate me? All those “what if’s” will drive you mad! Lucky for me, I was already a bit crazy so the drive was a short one.
I had the reality check come in. I wasn’t “Mom”. I could not fill those shoes and I didn’t want to. I had to deal with the real Mom, the Grand Mom, the Aunts and family. I had advice coming from every direction. Confusing isn’t it. I made many mistakes. MANY mistakes. I learned the hard way that just because they cry and yell, doesn’t mean they hate you. Just because they want to talk to Mommy, doesn’t mean they don’t want to talk to you too. I had to run in those clown shoes (flop flop flop flop). I tripped a few times and fell on my face. Put the fact is, I got back up and continued to run. Eventually, I stopped running in those horrid shoes. I began to walk. Soon, those shoes began to fit a little better. I learned to accept my role and before I knew it, my role was no longer the dreaded “STEP” mom. I wasn’t evil. I was just a parent. Just like all the other parents. And they loved me no matter my title.
I love these kids. I love my husband. I love these shoes. They get to be slipped off every now and then. I get to put on my heels, my sneakers and my slippers for different occasions. But I always go back to my Clown shoes. They fit just right.
No comments:
Post a Comment